Accepting that people are dynamic beings has allowed me to understand them as they are. My psychometrics professor repeatedly told us that there is only one predictor we have for future behaviour is past behaviour. And, he repeatedly reminded us that this predictor is bullshit. Why? Because past behaviour does not take into account the greatest driving force behind our actions: motivation. As I mature, I learn each day about the infamous amounts of shades of grey. Actions and choices are rarely simple 2+2 calculations.
In this season, there is a ton social change occurring worldwide and this will continue for months and probably even years. And, as societies change, we also have to allow people to change with them and accept these people as their new selves. Now, I’m not talking about celebrities and people we see on TV. I’m not talking about cancel culture. I’m talking about our friends, our family members, our co-workers, the people that we interact with often and know their character. I used to feel horrible that when I realize I’ve experienced the worst of someone’s character. It would eat me to the core that they can simply transform and no one will ever see that side of them, except me. People can hurt others and say it’s in their past and every person they meet in the future will never have to encounter the pain I encountered or ever even know who they once were. But, I’ve learned that there is freedom that comes in believing in the best of people. That people CAN change and we only hurt ourselves when our perceptions of them will not allow it.
It was triggering to me when I saw people on my timeline speaking about BLM when the same people would tell me “you talk too much about race”, “can we just chill?” or best yet: “yo, it was just a joke”. I had to come off my these platforms to be able to reflect on why it hurt. And, it’s because I hadn’t healed these scars. Whether or not, these black boxes were performative or not, I can never know their real motivations or intentions. I must simply take them at their word and observe myself if they have changed. I’m allowed to change my mind when people change who they are. And, in fact, it is GOOD for me to do so. It’s about practicing empathy. I have to remind myself what the greater goal is: that people refine their character so society can work as a cohesive unit. Now, my job is to make room for this transformation in my heart.
Our dynamic souls 